Just Enough and Nothing More

As homeschoolers, we are free to fill our time how we please, and to structure our family life and learning any way we like.

This is very similar to being a boss in a business. Bosses can manage in many different ways. Depending on how much freedom and time he/she has, one of the major dangers of being a boss, is thinking that micromanagement means being a better boss. Micromanagement doesn’t make better business, and it doesn’t make better homeschoolers either.

Don’t let the fact that you have the control and time (and perhaps expectation) to be an educational micromanager lead you to believe that you are supposed to be.

In this open letter to managers about how micromanaging ruins business relationships, disintegrates trust, and demoralizes employees, Scott Berkun touches on some important points that homeschoolers should pay close attention to. We are, in essence, the bosses. How we manage our family and our lives will have a huge influence on the message we give our kids on what we expect from them and what we honestly think they are capable of achieving.

The letter starts out with this strong assertion:

Owners of thoroughbreds never stop their horses during a race, every ten seconds, to remind  the horse and jockey how to run, where the finish line is, or that it’d be a good idea to finish first. Why? It would slow them down. Only an idiot would do this.

If you’re a manager, you must assume you have thoroughbreds working for you. Your job is to give them what they need to win their respective races, agreeing with them on the goal  and rewards, but then getting the hell out of the way. Until they start jumping fences or attacking other horses, you have to let them run their race.

The parallel isn’t exact, but this is imagery worth thinking about. How much of spending our time scheduling our kids’ learning, assessing their progress, and telling them what to do and when to do it is getting in their way of winning the race they are running?

I also love this counterpoint which is directly applicable to education, particularly modern American education:

Perhaps you don’t think you are managing thoroughbreds and that your horses need lots of help.

This is possible.

But if you are in fact a micromanager, you started over-managing the day you started. You have no idea of the potential of the people who work for you. Odds are good you’re treating at least one potential  Seabiscuit as if he were a toy pony at the county fair.

We Americans have been micromanaging our kids for so long, we have no idea if they are capable of working on their own. This is exactly why so often we hear the argument that kids cannot possibly learn without an adult leading them every step of the way. Micromanaging is a habit that we can’t get out of. And as you probably know micromanagers in your life - they will never admit they are micromanaging. They think they are doing it for their employees, and their company’s “own good”.

And lastly, this bit is a bit long, but oh so poignant.

An easy test of micromanagement is to let your team know you are confident in their ability to do their job and offer, if they wish, that you will be less involved in their day to day work to give them more room to perform. Tell them you are available if they need you, but otherwise you will put some of your attention elsewhere. See what happens. Hold your tongue. Don’t demand to review that email. Don’t insist on regulating who can meet with who. Take one small step backward and see what happens.

Odds are extremely good the world will not end. Your best employees will be happier and more productive, giving you new energy to invest in the rest of your work or more afternoons where you can head home early. Some of your team might surprise you, and thrive with more autonomy. And for those who fail to improve or make mistakes, you’ve lost nothing, as you can step back in where it’s actually needed.

If you are terrified of trying this and have a list of excuses why this is a bad idea, the only thing you are managing is your ego. Perhaps you’re afraid to admit your people can function quite well without your approval or input on every stupid little thing. Or it could be you are proof of the peter principle, and would be happier and more useful if you stopped managing and worked solo.

So much of our worries for our kids (and other people in general), are in fact, the inability to release our ego and our own 100% certain idea of what is “right” and what everyone in the worlds “needs” to do. That is micromanaging.

Don’t micromanage your kids or your family. They will love you more for it. And, the best thing is, you’ll have more time to do your own thing, too.

Related posts:

1. Can Homeschooling Save Our Educational Crisis?
2. Educational Goals
3. Educational Habits
4. Revolutionary Educational Secret Revealed: Taking Kids Seriously
5. To Push or Not to Push