I’m Radical, But Definitely NOT a Radical Unschooler; I’m Not Even an Unschooler
“I’m not an unschooler.” God, I feel so free saying that, like invisible shackles have been removed from my wrists, and I can throw my arms above my head again.
I might look like an unschooler in some ways, I say things similar to what self-proclaimed unschoolers might say, and I even may agree with John Holt and John Toylor Gatto on several things. But I am not an unschooler. I am free.
I get lumped into the unschooler camp quite a bit, and I have to admit that mostly, I let people do that. Why? Because it’s easier than nitpicking the label. Plus, if the definition of unschooling is simply, “doesn’t plan out the school year in advance, doesn’t keep track of assignments and grades, and questions modern schooling systems,” then ya, I guess I could fall into that category.
But you and I both know that unschooling is much more than that. (Although, what it is exactly, depends on who you talk to.)
Some reasons why I don’t consider myself an unschooler:
1) I question unschooling. It has become clear to me over the years that in order to be a card-carrying unschooler, one has to be completely in love with every aspect of unschooling and all those who unschool. I’m not. I like many parts of the lifestyle, and I love many unschoolers. However, I’m not 100% sold on it, and I still wonder if there is a better way. As soon as someone voice concern over unschooling elements, they are treated as some kind of opposition and must be edumacated. I have yet to meet a self-proclaimed unschooler who doesn’t defend every detail of it, and I certainly have yet to meet a group of unschoolers who are willing to admit that perhaps there are some drawbacks or imperfections in unschooling. (You know, if you just unschooled “correctly”, you shouldn’t have any problems.) I like many things about unschooling, but not that aspect of it. No matter how much I like an educational approach, it will never be beyond reproach, even my beloved Zenschooling.
2) We have rules, not just principles. Even when it comes to education and learning, we do have house rules, and we enforce general social rules. It’s hard to express in a few sentences how that works for us, but it’s pretty laid-back, although not laid-back enough for it to be considered unabashed unschooling.
3) I don’t always agree with unschooling articles. Unschooling experts are just as fallable as any other, yet… yet…do unschoolers ever question them? And yes, I say this fully aware that I am one of those people who write articles and proclaim my expertise and knowledge. I hope I do allow for dissent, and if I don’t, slap me please. K, thnx.
4) Diversity is extremely important to me. Unschoolers don’t play nicely with the rest of the world. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with them. They simply have a different definition of what “respect” is than everyone else. (Kind of like the French.) There are exceptions, but for the most part, unschoolers want to be left alone to do what they want to do without anyone bothering them, and they will extend that courtesy to everyone else so long as they don’t get poked with a stick. I have absolutely no problem with that. Except, that’s not me. I don’t want to just be left alone, or for the world to finally accept that what I’m doing is “OK” so I can just live my life. I want to be around and get along with everyone, even if they disagree with me. I actually like people who are very different than me. I’m curious - why is it they believe so strongly the way they do? I also want to be involved with everyone, even those crazy parents with rules and control issues and the audacity to yell at their kids sometimes. I like them, too. I have to, partly, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t like myself.
And perhaps most importantly, I like living in diversity. For that reason, I stick with diverse groups. When I am in a homogenous group, I can’t help but be the one who stands up and says, “I’m different than you!” just to try and get people to wake up to how self-focused they are. For some reason, people don’t like that. Not sure why. Hmm..
Anyway, I’ve had my hand slapped in unschooling groups enough times to know that you just don’t do that if you want to be accepted by the tribe. Unschoolers are pack animals, defending each other very enthusiastically. I think everyone is worth defending, not just the people who agree with me. So, it’s just probably better off for everyone involved if I don’t hang the unschooler sign around my neck, and that way I can dissent periodically.
Although, I have to say that being regarded as an unschooler gives me a drug-like feeling of having solid backup, and of being right. That feels so good, and is also what scares me most of all. I hate to think of myself capable of falling in that trap. But I have, and I still do. Sometimes just being a homeschooler can have that kind of “let’s gang up and all be right together!” effect on me too. I have to smack myself awake when that happens. So part of declaring that I’m not an unschooler is to free myself of the temptation of pursuing “being right with others” intoxication.
5) I want wiggle room to make changes. If I say, “I’m an unschooler”, then I am then limited to being a better kind of unschooler, or to have to stay within the lines of what a good unschooler is. No. Thanks. By not being an unschooler, I can be who I am without limits. We can be whatever kind of family we want to be, and we don’t have to ever feel guilty that we might not be in one camp or another.
Unschooling is a great educational approach. But it’s not perfect, and it’s certainly not the holy grail of education or life. There is a lot to learn from it, however, as well as there is a lot to learn from other educational approaches. I studied unschooling for years because it was so different and it challenged how I think. Now, I’m reading up on leadership and communication, skills which I feel could greatly benefit the homeschooling community.
Now, all that said, I am definitely a radical. That’s a label I’ve had to grapple with for years. I’m ready to embrace it now that I no longer feel it attaches me unwillingly to radical unschooling.
I am a homeschooling radical because:
1. I question everything. I don’t doubt everything. In fact, I have a lot of faith in the world and the people in it, even if I disagree with them. I have a lot of faith in unschooling, the various religions, political parties, all that. By faith, I mean that I trust them, and that they are doing the best they can with what they have. But along with that faith, I question it all. Is this really the best way? Does this make sense? Perhaps there are many answers? What can I learn from this? Why is this particular thing making me angry or tense? What is it pointing at? How can this information make the world better? Does it create freedom or limit us? I never stop asking questions, then analyzing the answers (to death, I’m sure many of my family and friends would say.) So, yes, I question you and what you believe in. I question me, and what I believe in. I also trust you and I trust myself, that it’ll all work out.
2. Everything is going to be ok, really. The popular thing is to panic. We panic over new legislation, we panic over people disagreeing with us, we panic over what people say in the news, we panic over other people’s opinions, and we panic over all the potential changes in our life. We want to be safe, free, happy, and so many other things, so we panic when we think those things are threatened. I am not immune to this. I panic too. (Hey, I was even on medication for that for a while!) But really, come on, the world has existed and continued to exist for centuries through every possible horrible thing, and we just keep plugging away. Sometimes things are worse, sometimes better, but we just keep going. And for the most part, people try to stay alive as long as possible in order to keep on keepin’ on, no matter how horrible things get. So, whatever happens, we’ll be OK. In the words of Douglas Adams, “Don’t Panic.”
3. Just because a lot of people say things (and are very good at saying it) doesn’t mean it’s true, but it might just be, and it might not be too horrible to go along with it. While I question everything, I sit very comfortably with the set of beliefs and understanding that I currently have. And when a lot of people believe something, even if it’s probably wrong, sometimes it’s just OK to be OK with that. In other words, question everything, but also be OK with the world, and the people in it, being imperfect. It will always be imperfect.
4. Homeschooling is not that big of a deal. I mean, it is, but it’s not. And most of my talks are simply, “relax, and enjoy the ride.” I think humans get a high off of being pissed off, annoyed, and even insulted. People like having something to point at and say, “That’s a problem!” I know, I feel it a lot, too. I can feel the yummy fight or flight chemicals soaring through my body like a drug when I’m really incensed about something. Now, I recognize that many families come into homeschooling as a reaction to something else that caused very appropriate anger and frustration at the time. However, holding on to that anger and bitterness into our homeschooling only keeps us stuck in where we were before we made such a huge life change. Something happened, we decided to homeschool, now that thing is over, let it go.
5. Education is life, life is education. Funny, when I say this, most people think I mean unschooling. Nope. School is part of education in my opinion. School counts. That’s life too. Life is life. It’s all education. I’m not interested in how we can fabricate our lives so they are perfect. I’m interested in learning how we can deal with life. School isn’t what bothers me as much (even after having written a book all about releasing our attachment to it). Kids being trapped at school without any tools to deal with what happens there bothers me far more. So, school at home doesn’t bother me too much. It’s the children not learning the tools to deal with stress over assignments, or deal with pent up anger, or any of these things which bothers me. It’s not what we do - it’s how we do them. Education is life, life is education. Education is not some defined and limited subset of experiences. It all counts.
I know that what I am right now isn’t the ultimate example of perfect. But it’s perfect for the moment, and I’m happy. I am a radical, but I am not a radical unschooler, and I’m not even an unschooler. What that makes me, I have no idea. I’m OK with that. I’m OK with whatever you are too, even if you have no idea what you are either.
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Tammy, you rock! This is pretty much exactly how I feel about unschooling and my relationship to it. I refuse to live in a homeschooling sub-category; I’ve been there, done that, and it wasn’t nourishing to any of us.
Just this morning unschooling came up on a forum I moderate (not a homeschooling forum). The unschooler made a somewhat insulting post saying that structured homeschooling doesn’t prepare children for the real world (one reason the OP mentioned for that her choices), and when gently challenged posted that she was just trying to educate people. Ugh! First off, no one asked to be educated. Second, who gets to decide what the real world is and how children are prepared to live in it? Aren’t they living in a real world now?
I truly understand when you say that unschoolers don’t play nicely with the rest of the world. And sadly neither do many who practice attachment parenting, evangelical christianity, veganism, and a host of other philosophies that require adherence to dogma.
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What you are/do sounds a lot like my definition of unschooling… for which I would prefer a different term. I just put my son in a Montessori school because I need some time to get important things done that I can’t get done when I’m with him all day. And yet, I still consider myself a “life-schooler” (life-learner?)… not a Montessori-er. I think he’ll learn valuable stuff there even if I don’t think that approach/method is entirely necessary (or perfect). And if it doesn’t work out for him, we’ll take him out and try something else. And if it does… wow, that was easy! (but again, not the only answer)
Well said! I’ve felt the exact same way, and, though I like a lot of the philosophy of unschooling, decided early on that our family can’t fit under that label because we need the freedom to do what works best for us without being told “you’re doing it wrong!” (Freedom of choice and trusting our own judgment is the main reason we’re homeschooling in the first place!) So, yes, I can understand why things are this way, but we’d rather just do what works for us, re-evaluate periodically, and continue to do what works best, whatever that may be at the time. I like the way you put this, and I’m sure it’s resonating with a lot of people who feel the same way–or our own variation of ’similar’, lol!
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And I’m not like you… which is probably why I like reading your blog so much. You’re OK, I’m OK, and the world’s a better place because we’re both in it.
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First, Tammy, my hands hurt from all the applause. Great post.
Wrong shoes…I just put my son in a Montessori charter last week. I am in 100% agreement with everything you said. It was a horribly difficult decision for us. We had a lack of social opportunities that were a good match for him, and he was lonely. I would love to talk to you more about the transition if you would like. annab2 at iquest.net
Deja vu.
I reached this point a few years ago and made a similar proclamation, but it just has never felt right, felt more like relinquishing something beautiful and meaningful and important for all the wrong reasons. You’ve got me re-thinking all that now, Tammy, for which I’m very grateful. I just wonder if it isn’t too late…
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Brilliant post! I nodded my head while reading along. I do consider myself an unschooler if forced to put a label to it, even consider myself a radical unschooler and love hanging with all kinds of people so I’m a bit surprised to hear you have had your hands smacked-especially over celebrating and enjoying diversity. WTG for finding and speaking out loud about what works for your life.
this is wonderful!! it puts into words so much that i’ve been feeling and gives me new things to think about as well. thanks! i’d write more, but the kids are dumping something weird into the bath water. guess if i was a real unschooler i’d be ok with that
Sounds like you’re doing unschooling.
Don’t confuse unschooling as an activity with unschooling as a community. There might be many unschooling communities who have specific ways of speaking and relating. These communities may differ with each other in important ways. Don’t worry about it.
There are no rules in unschooling, so you can’t be “doing it wrong.” Anyone who says you’re doing it wrong must not understand the common definition of the term. Unschooling simply means that the learner is the sovereign of his own education; the sole authority of that education. That’s it. You may certainly grant others the privilege of advising you. You can even go to public school and still be an unschooler (that would require you not to attend public school in the belief that it had any authority over you).
I call myself a buccaneer-scholar, and that means partly that I get to plunder any useful idea I like and reinvent it for myself. I’ve done this for unschooling, which means anyone who thinks they’re going to lecture me on unschooling is going to get a lecture right back, because I think I’m an expert in James Bachian Unschooling. You get to be an expert in your own brand of unschooling, too.
BTW, I’m a radical unschooling parent because I have set my son free in every way I can conceive of, not just educationally. However, the people over at the Radical Unschooling forum claim that I’m not doing it right. All that means is that I’m apparently part of a different culture of Radical Unschooling. That’s fine with me.
– James
Wow,
There sure is a lot of passion in this Unschooling business. I’m new to homeschooling, although I nannyed unschooled kids before as a job.
I have taken my kids out of the public education system this year because they were not gaining any weight, and intuitively I knew it came from stress. All day they hear: “get up, eat breakfast, get your clothes on, we’re gonna be late, get out, run to class…” they eat poorly and on the run, they rush recess snacks and lunch so that they can play and after school was another series of “get in the car, we have to go to: soccer practice, music, karate, ” take your pick. Then dinner is rushed and late, and they have homework, and we try to read…WOW.
I feel like I am trying to turn my kids into have-to robots. They are only 7 and 9, and they are so stressed that they grew 2 inches in height and did not gain one pound all year until July, then both gained 10 pounds each in one month of summer! Thats 20% of their bodyweight!
I read this article, and I am, again, new to unschooling as a concept. We are doing a combination of distance learning and homeschooling with a group that meets for “school” once a week. We love learning, and want our kids to love learning, not see it as something they do in a set way, for a set period of time, in a set environment.
Our public school is the best we have where we live. My kids actually love school and are very popular there. We simply want to have a more relaxed schedule that is more healthy, with more time to eat proper meals and days when they can sleep in, and we can focus on classes where they can learn dance and guitar and a second language.
This world is curious to me, I am someone who loved school and was a great student. Is there any other parents out there who simply make this kind of choice based on health and well being as a foremost family value, rather than a reaction to a system that, hey, we all know is FAR outdated?
I feel for teachers, and public school institutions, because on the most part they are just people who love education and love kids and want a work schedule that matches their children’s schedule so that they can be at home with their kids in the summers.
I feel radical, but I am radical about my kids. My boys are curious, intelligent, funny little characters. When left on their own tend to learn a lot all the time. I am looking forward to them seeing me as a teacher, rather than just their mum. I am not too fussed about their grade learning objectives as of yet, grades 2,3 and 4 are pretty basic. But I also understand that at any point they might WANT to go to school! Thats where all the kis are! They will want to be where its all happening, and be social, and meet girls at some point. I am always going to be conscientous of wanting them to go to university one day…am I an unschooler? Does the label really matter?
I want my boys to be grounded in themselves. I want them to question authority and rules, as I do, but respectfully! I want the homeschooling experience to be about them developing their own abilities of discernment and choice making…I want them to homeschool so that they are less peer-pressurable…so that they have a better sense of self esteem, and so that they have the knowledge and skills to learn what they want to learn themselves. I want their personalities to develop without having to learn coping mechanisms in the crazy group environment…one of them tending to be invisible and a pushover, and the other turning into a class clown/romeo.
I don’t want these “acts” they are developing at public school to rule their lives…but will homeschooling solve this and do all of these things? Who knows? We have chosen try it out, and this choice sets us back financially, but we think its worth it…parenting is our number one priority, and it seems like some unschoolers are parents first as well-is this a true assumption?
Thanks to this blog, I am learning a lot, and enjoying the articles…the one sent to me 3 days ago made me cry it was so poignant. I am new to blogging, but felt as though out of all that I have read, which isn’t a lot, my perspective is different…Maybe my addition to this site will benefit some people.
Oh, BLESS you, dear prolificly eloquent one!!! You have spoken the thoughts that have been tied up in my head for the last two years, begging for release, demanding to be made known, sending me into fits of confusion and frustration as I attempted to untie them!
I’ve discovered that it’s really easy to be a radical unschooler when you have 1) No school age children. 2) Less than 3 children total. 3) No need for sleep. 4) No friends to lose due to your refusal to accept any other way of thinking.
Since I no longer qualify under any of those criteria, it is very difficult to remain a radical unschooler. And since I just bought some curriculum for my 8-year-old son, who is begging for knowledge and direct input from the mother who claims to love and care for him, I can no longer call myself an unschooler. Thus, I am left to be a radical. And I can totally handle that.
So, thank you.
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I’m back. I spent the evening with three of my totally unschooled now-grown sons and at one point I mentioned your essay to them, Tammy, and asked them what they thought about the idea that unschooling might have a definition and specific parameters.
One’s reaction was unprintable but basically meant “nonsense.”
Another thought about it a little longer and said ‘unschooling definition’ sounded like an oxymoron.
The third one just said he’d always thought the words unschooling and homeschooling were more or less synonymous, just that unschooling was the more relaxed approach, and anyone who said differently didn’t understand the concept and probably just needed to go back to school.
Okay, so that all checked out with my thinking and when I got home I hunted up the definitions at our unschooling.com website (yeah, we registered that URL 15+ years ago), and sure ’nuff, here’s the opening line: “There are as many different ways of defining unschooling as there are people doing it.”
http://www.unschooling.com/library/faq/definitions.shtml
[...] over at Just Enough, had a wonderful post “I’m Radical, but Definitely NOT a Radical Unschooler; I’m Not Even an Unschooler&…. She hit on some of the main reasons why I shy away from unschooling as a whole. Yes, I do have [...]
Ai yi yi. I’ve been struggling to write an article for a homeschool publication, and it’s basically almost sort of the same as your post. It simply took me longer to realize that I wasn’t a “real” unschooler. At least now I know what direction to take my article. Thank you.
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Unschooling “rules” reminds me a lot of “attachment parenting” rules. You have to do X, Y, and Z to be a good attachment parent. Well… what if your baby doesn’t *like* a sling? Or being rocked to sleep? Should we make the baby do it anyway because someone else says most babies like it?
I don’t call myself an unschooler. I’m just me. We’re just us. We do what works. I’m not a joiner.
I’d never be part of a club that would have me for a member… 
[...] from Just Enough and Nothing More shares why she doesn’t consider herself an unschooler in “I’m Radical, but Definitely NOT a Radical Unschooler; I’m Not Even an Unschooler.” I can identify with several of the points made in her post and in the resulting [...]
T-Tak!!! Hey sweetie. Awesome post. I have run the gambit on what label fits us. Unschooling comes close but not quite. I have hung with the radicals and others. I do fit into one group, but then again it such a diverse group of people that many, myself included, could fall into a number of categories. I have gotten to the point where I just claim to be a homeschooler. We are flexible, relaxed, living and learning, learning and living, we have some structure, rules, etc. If there were truly a strict definition of unschooling, we might come close.
As always, you find just the right words to put things perspective.
Tammy
freethinkingunschoolers yahoo group is where you will likely feel at home - a wild bunch of all sorts of unschoolers who have had similar experiences to yours with other groups. We’re actually not all unschoolers or even homeschoolers and despite the name “freethinking” and all it implies, and although we’re mostly agnostic/ atheist leaning, there are plenty of religious or spiritual folks of all stripes there too and I think all but those trying to “change” us feel welcomed and at home. It’s one of the most civil, kind, tolerant groups overall I’ve ever been a part of - very much like a group of good friends sitting around discussing everything from lame jokes to “important” subjects concerning their children’s (and their own) education. I know you’ve likely got a bad taste in your mouth from being told how you “should” think and act to fit some label on other lists or groups, but when you feel you can, you should check out this group - we love open-minded, critically thinking individuals such as yourself. Plus I win some sort of tupperware for every new member I recruit. Not really.
It’s sad that unschooling is perceived in the ways you’ve described. I can certainly see your viewpoint. But I think like anything, the loudest people aren’t always the right people.
We’re considered “radical unschoolers”. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have rules. I have the rule of not eating food on the couch, because of ants. We also have the rule of not hurting someone else - by ohysicalmeans or thru control. I think the difference is we don’t feel the need to punish if a rule occasionally is broken. Maybe that makes them principles or guidelines. Whatever!
I’m always sad to see people turned off of unschooling by the more definitive voices in the community. It’s like all Christians getting a bad rap for the two crazies that blew up an abortion clinic. Or all Muslims being discriminated on after 9/11. It’s just not true or fair. It’s easy to assume it’s most when they are the only ones screaming. You just can’t hear the rest!
The real definition of unschooling is simply “not doing compulsory school”. What that looks like will be different for everyone. And there is a difference between the radical version and not. I’ve found I can’t trust learning to happen if I can’t trust my son in other areas also. But that’s just what works for us. I think the important factor is whether or not all members of the household are happy - unschooling, homeschooling or going to public school doesn’t matter as much as that. Unschooling just happens to be what makes us happy.
Without or without the label, I’m glad you’ve found something that makes you all happy.
~Tara
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Really great post, Tammy. We don’t seem to fit into any group either…wiggle room is really important to me. Just do what your doing kind of path. Your article was very well put and concise in putting together the rambling thoughts in my own head.
I suggest the term “Free Schoolers” as per your opening lines. Free to do what works for your family whether or not it “fits” into any other category. Radical, ineed.
Maria´s last blog ..The Non Blog
Thanks Tammy. Perfect timing. I love your writing and really needed to read this today. So happy Tammy from FU gave the head’s up and pointed us to this post. Maybe I will not have to move to that cave after all. I’m going to give up on all definitions and just stick to a simple descriptive. We are human beings. That’s it.
Kay
Great post, Tammy. I share some of those feelings now and then and am still trying to figure out exactly where I fit in!
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Tammy, I really enjoyed this post and I’m excited to find your web site. I am new to the unschooling concept, and my daughter is only three, but the transformation of thinking of our daily lives as “education” has changed the way I view our life and the way that I relate to my daughter. Just becoming aware of her comments, questions, and interests as her “educating herself” makes me respond to her more thoughtfully, and to be more aware of her as a bonafide person in our household, rather than a little kid that needs to be molded into a “good girl” (not that I was actively “molding” her anyway). I was molded into a “good girl” and I REALLY don’t want this for my daughter, which is one of the reasons I am considering unschooling; which is to say that I want her to act according to her own principles and beliefs, to discover and fully develop herself, and to meet her own expectations and fulfill her own dreams of what her life can and should be, not mine or anyone else’s. I look forward to reading through the other posts on the site. Thanks,
Shannon
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Very interesting article. I was introduced to the concept of “unschooling” last week, and have since been trying to find out as much information on it as I can. Although the basic idea behind it sounds great, I have read too many things that seemed more “radical” than really having to do with teaching.
My DDs both go to public school, which would make me anti-unschooling from the get go. We also have no intention of taking them out of school for many reasons. Although the public school system does get a lot of knocks from the unschooling and homeschooling communities, our children go to a good school. For instance, my oldest DD is in a gifted and talented class, and the daily communication and sharing of ideas umongst her (very diverse) peers is better than what I or my DW could do in our own home. Yes, they do follow that dirtly ten letter word “curriculum,” they are introduced to a lot of new ideas and concepts. Although they might not love (or even like) each subject, it does provide a basis for those subjects and areas they do enjoy. This system (like most systems) are not perfect, but none are. For instance, they get too much homework each day, and I believe that their time could be better spent doing other things they enjoy. Our state also has major standardized tests in the 3rd-5th grades which puts a lot of pressure on 8-10 year olds, actually way too much pressure for a kid. But as mentioned above, it is also important as a parent to provide the basis and learning on how to cope with these pressures and obstacles that confront the children early in life and how they will handle these pressures later in life as an adult.
What I like about the things I have read regarding the unschooling philosophy is to allow the children more freedom to pursue their own educational interests. This is something that we continuously try outside of school and tried to foster outside of the schoolroom in such things as entertainment (my older daughter wanted to learn music, so we bought her a guitar w/ instructional booklets - and promises of lessons (yes structured lessons) if she desires to do so). We try to plan our vacations so that they are not only fun and relaxing, but also provide some educational value as well (e.g., spent last Thanksgiving in/around Plymoth, MA, other trips this year included: a trip to Sturbridge Villiage (also MA) (1830s restoration villiage), Lancaster, PA theme parks, also with vist to Amish house & farm (and even went to a place to make our own pretzels), etc., etc. To me, this is a way that our family “unschools.”
As a newbie to this, I have seen a distinction between “unschoolers” and “radical unschoolers.” As mentioned above, there are many types of unschoolers, and to me, simply means that they do not go to a sanctioned school and do not follow a set curriculum. The radical unschoolers, in my opinion, take this concept and bring it to every aspect of their lives. For instance, the idea of no boundaries at times is taken too far (for me). Having no boundaries to learning or where a child explores seems okay, but no boundaries in all aspects of life (when to sleep, what to eat, etc.) is a little hard for me to swallow at this time (maybe with a little more info on the subject I may change my mind). I believe there needs to be some type of boundaries set and believe that the parents are the parents and the children are the children.
Sorry for the vent (I did not intend to write so much), but saw this article and this board and just wanted to get it all off my chest to others who may not agree with what I have written, but understand what I am writing about - so thanks for listening.
All children are different and every parent must do what is best for them.
Tammy,
I linked to your post on my blog … not just in another post but on the sidebar. You have firmly yet graciously nailed exactly many of my issues with the current unschooling communities.
As I referred to in a post on my blog, I have spent time in religiously abusive places and the framework is the same as these unschooling experts robbing the joy and freedom from those who are taking their first tentative steps and even from those who have been running for awhile but have chosen a different but parallel path. I am just not going to play their games anymore.
I am who I say I am but what speaks louder than that is how I live my life. My commitment is to stay true to myself and live my life well.
Thanks for being a source of encouragement.
Grace and Peace!
Cynthia´s last blog ..If not an unschooler, then what?
Classic!
It does seem that many unschoolers have a different understanding of education, or at least what they classify it as. In my mind, the point of education is the pursuit of truth and knowledge. Anything that is not pursuing these two goals would be classified as some other type of learning, but not actual “education.”
Home School College Counselor´s last blog ..Question of the Day – What are the Best HS Courses to take?
You have so eloquently said exactly what I feel with regards to unschooling. So often when I have tried to learn more and asked questions I have been shot down and judged as being critical and judgemental. All I really wanted was to learn more and hear how others do things but this was never accepted in many unschooling circles.
I am NOT and Unschooler I am as you said Homeschooling my kids in freedom! I can do whatever I like and then I can change my mind wheneve I feel like it too!
I love it. Thanks for the great post!
Questioning everything usually means an active mind in pursuit of learning. It also means not settling for long on any one dogma. But for a few moments in time, as I digest these new ideas, it can sound a lot like they are my latest fad or passion because I talk non-stop about them. What people seem to have difficulty with is that tomorrow I’ll have a different opinion, or an adjusted one, or I may even still feel passionate about the same opinion. It’s as though I should always remain the same old me, the one that people are comfortable with now that they have got to know me. Change isn’t desirable. Oh well.
I happily label myself - it’s a short hand way of letting people know a LOT of information quickly. Sure, their understanding of the label means it is a bit of a hit and miss affair. Spend another five minutes with me and you’ll realise that I’m a very complicated person and that my interpretation of the labels are incredibly complex. Because life is complex, nothing is ever as simple as it first appears. And that is okay.
My daughter went to school for her final years. She did all the work required of her (well, most of it anyway). But her ‘real’ learning, the stuff she actually went there for, but no one knew it at the time - not me or even her - was something the school didn’t realise it naturally taught. My daughter unconsciously sought an environment where she could study people and management - she went on to work in in the retail industry. The home is a great place for studying these subjects, but it is limited, and school was an easy, ideal environment to pursue her ‘natural learning’ curriculum, along with her part-time job.
Most of the learning we do - including children - isn’t done consciously. We learn what we need to in each moment. We attract lessons to us and repeat them when necessary. We bump into lessons and learn them. If we tune in enough we’ll discover that we’re learning different things on so many different levels in each moment. I get excited by the whole process - it is so wonderful complex and it is impossible not to be learning something even though there is a good chance we’re totally unaware of some of what we’re learning.
So the stuff we talk about when saying we’re ‘homeschoolers’ or ‘unschoolers’ or ‘classical home educators’ or whatever, is just the tip of the learning iceberg. There is a LOT more going on than we give ourselves or our children credit for. The things we consciously place in our learning paths are a small fraction of what we’re learning each day.
When all is said and done, it is the undercurrent of ‘informal’ or ‘natural’ learning - the stuff we don’t realise is happening - that shapes who we are and our experiences. We can manipulate our physical, social, emotional and intellectual environment to prompt particular desired results, but ultimately it’s how we react in the moment that determines what we learn. Most of us are unaware that we spend most of lives reacting without consciously thinking “I’ll respond this way to that particular stimulus”. I see one of main responsibilities as parents as one of modelling self-awareness to our children.
So, if you are school-at-home family, or a school-at-school family, or an unschooling family, don’t despair - it doesn’t really matter how you are ‘doing it’. We learn in spite of what we do. What we need to focus on is what it is we’re actually learning and question if what we’re doing is achieving the results we seek, and if not, what can we do to change that…
Beverley
Wow, Tammy, this is really good. We have been homeschool radicals for quite a while now. We spend a lot of time with very structured homeschoolers, and they think we’re unschoolers because we allow our daily learning activities to flow naturally rather than follow a rigid study schedule. I’ve explained what we really do and what I really think, but this piece says it far better than I ever could. Thanks for writing this.
Wow, so glad I found this post! I’ve been trying to write something . . .well, not quite like this. But i’ve really been struggling w unschooling. So much of the philosophy sounds cool, but i’ve also seen people insist that unschoolers DO NOT use curriculum. I’ve felt persecuted by unschoolers who seem hell-bent on convincing me that having ANY limits on what my kids are allowed to do is unethical. I’ve had at least one freind who I thought was a pretty good freind . . .basically refuse to talk to me at all about curriculum or learning unless its ENTIRELY on her terms. I’m SO VERY frustrated about it! HOpefully this will help me with the article I’ve been mulling over for a week. thanks.
Cara´s last blog ..One son off and one son on
Glad you have found your freedom from being thrown into the unschooler category! I was not even familiar with the term, but it sounds like I may be a bit of an unschooler. Why do you want to be free of the name? I am curious!
I wrote about some of my discomfort within the unschooling community, as self-descried unschoolers, just this week. I found this post via Amanda. I agree with some of the other comments that said using the term unschooling was a shortcut for others. I think that’s mostly how we use the term. And I like your distinction regarding radical. I think that’s us, too. Yeah, basically, I think it boils down to dogma, and dogma and I, we’ve never hit it off. Great post!
Amy@ On Bradstreet http://onbradstreet.blogspot.com/2010/02/expectations-and-unschooling.html
Amy@On Bradstreet´s last blog ..Expectations And Unschooling
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